Month: July 2020

Procrastination is a subject that seems over flogged, but somehow, we still fall victim to it. We habitually find ways to ignore an unpleasant, but likely more important task, in favor of one that is more enjoyable or easier. Always, the sentence “I’ll do it later” becomes a thing.

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Although it is often confused with laziness, they are very different terms. Procrastination is an active process – you choose to do something else instead of the task that you know you should be doing. In contrast, laziness suggests apathy, inactivity, and an unwillingness to act. Procrastination is a matter of having poor time management skills.

95 percent of us procrastinate to some degree. The reason varies from person to person and is not always obvious. Sometimes it is a hidden fear that we don’t want to acknowledge. It could even be as simple as not wanting to do something because it just doesn’t motivate us or the most common excuse of preferring to work under pressure. While it may be comforting to know that you’re not alone in the procrastination train, it can be sobering to realize just how much it can hold you back.

Procrastination is the killer of success, opportunity’s assassin, and a killer of time. Time is in itself the most valuable asset we do not own, and whether you believe it or not, how you use or don’t use your time is the best indication of where your future is going to take you. If you must achieve the success you desire, you must understand that time management is life management, and giving in to procrastination means undervaluing your life’s essence whilst focusing on irrelevancies.

Procrastinators are underachievers.
When you put off till tomorrow, tasks that can be done today, you are unable to meet your goals. You blow out opportunities as well as put unnecessary pressure on your bodies and immune system by causing boatloads of stress and other negative emotions like guilt, anxiety, shame, and self-criticism. Procrastination has a negative effect on health, overall achievement in life, and happiness, and until you find ways to escape it, you’d be wobbling in the web of unproductivity and inaction.

To overcome procrastination, you need to first recognize that you are procrastinating, and then find reasons why you are. Acknowledging your procrastination is the only way you’d want to provide a solution. If you’re briefly delaying an important task for a genuinely good reason, then you aren’t necessarily procrastinating. However, if you start to put things off indefinitely, or switch focus because you want to avoid doing something, then you probably are. You need to also ferret out reasons for procrastinating. Could it be fear for negative feedback, fear for failure, rewards that are far in the future, or the task is such that does not motivate you? When you know your whys, it is easier to tackle it

Secondly, Adopt Anti procrastination strategies. Because procrastination is a deeply ingrained pattern of behavior, it means that you probably can’t break it overnight. These Anti procrastination strategies could include having a to-do-list and committing to tasks on that list. Focus on doing, not avoiding. Write down the tasks that you need to complete, and specify a time for doing them. This will help you to proactively tackle your work. Other strategies that could work include; setting a reward on tasks you complete, having an accountability partner that reminds you about your goals, and rephrasing your internal dialogue from “have to” to “must”.

Also, minimize distractions. You will need to subconsciously take decisions to do away with irrelevancies that occupy your time. This could include your television or social media time. That way, you are able to focus on those things that must be done. Procrastination is the thief of time. It is one of the most common and deadliest diseases and its toll on success and happiness is heavy. Today, stop making excuses for why you can’t get it done and start focusing on all the reasons you must make it happen.

A quote by Richard Bach says, “For you to bring anything to life, imagine that it is already there”. That is what visualization is about. It is simply a mental rehearsal where you create images in your mind of having or doing whatever it is that you want and then repeating that image of yourself daily until it becomes your reality.

To achieve it, you have to “dream it”

The power of visualization has been instrumental in turning dreams into reality. It is a technique that uses the imagination, mental images, power of thoughts, and the law of attraction to make dreams and goals come true. The world’s most successful and influential people had visualized their successes before they achieved it. They had had images of how successful they would be, the kind of company they would run, how they’d sit and hold meetings with their board of directors, how their PA would walk behind them carrying their expensive briefcase, and every other detail of that perfect future they want before it even happened. Truly, there is barely a person who became what they never envisaged or envisaged what they never became. You become exactly what you imagine of yourself or something close.

We all have an idea of how successful we want to be in the near future. When you ask the average Nigerian how rich he wants to be, he’d say, “as rich as Dangote” , “richer than Otedola”, but that is not the problem. The problem is that we have desires for wealth and success, yet we are constantly trapped in the imagination of our present situation. That is one major reason you will nurse desires that will never materialize because you cannot see yourself beyond your present reality.

You’d be amazed when you realize that the only time you think or imagine anything about yourself is when you are thinking about your problems. It could be thinking about your empty bank account, the sickness you are battling, or how stressful your work has become. How about you try and imagine how much money you will have? Or all the things you will accomplish when that sickness is gone, or how your future company will look like.

Visualization is powerful for many reasons. It activates your creative subconscious which will start generating creative ideas to achieve your goal, It programs your brain to more readily perceive and recognize the resources you will need to achieve your dreams, It activates the law of attraction, thereby drawing into your life the people, resources, and circumstances you will need to achieve your goals, and it builds your internal motivation to take the necessary actions to achieve your dreams.

To visualize, you need to be sure about your goal. What is it that you desire? How do you want your future to be? You need to be clear about your desire because your imagination needs to be fixed. Remember the idea is to evoke the law of attraction to give you what you imagine, so you don’t have to confuse it on what to give you. You cannot imagine yourself to be a doctor today, and tomorrow you are patching up images of being a musician. The reality is that you will likely not achieve any of them. Be clear about your goals as your visualization has to be in as vivid detail as possible.

The next step is to actually start visualizing. Imagine yourself in your own office, favorite car, on a date, in the living room with your kids, and other things you want your future to be about. Do not try to limit these imaginations based on the things you do not have in your current life. Don’t imagine yourself in your own company and wave that part of the image off with the excuse that you don’t have any money to even start a petty trade currently or imagine yourself playing with your kids, and then remember the doctor said you can never have children. This way, you’d rob the law of attraction of its powers to give you what you desire. You could create a vision board and place it in a place you’d always see it. This will help cement your goals and trigger inspiration and accountability to achieve them.

Also, it is pertinent to add that visualization without hard work is futile. After you have visualized, you need to take action to make things happen. Remember that you mostly get what you work for not what you wish for. As actor Jim Carrey would say, “Visualization works if you work hard. You cannot just visualize and go eat a sandwich”

Ultimately, we become what we envisage.

2020 has been a stiff year.

Maybe not to everyone, but to those employees who were forced out of work because their companies could no longer afford to pay them, or those business owners who involuntarily shut down their businesses or those students who may not graduate this year as they had anticipated.  All of these hassles due to the corona virus pandemic and its resulting health and economic crises.

The year is gradually winding down, but people will rather not accept that scary reality because they are yet to accomplish a quarter of their 2020 career or business goals. They are yet to make that groundbreaking sale, yet to multiply their income streams or yet execute that business idea because of our current unprecedented reality. Whilst some have written off the year and are patiently awaiting a more favorable 2021, others pressurize themselves on daily basis to remain productive.

Whichever category you have found yourself in surviving through 2020, the good news is that you are not alone. Martin Luther King said, “We must accept finite disappointments, but we must never lose infinite hope”. This is because hope is a powerful force that inspires us to carry on during difficult times. Hope is a prerequisite to staying positive. It makes a tough present situation more bearable and helps you envision a better future that motivates you to take steps to make things happen.

Against the backdrop of all that is going on in our world lately, our minds remain our greatest power so we have to fill it with positive thoughts. For every man is a product of his thought, and what he thinks, he becomes. Staying positive does not necessarily mean that you have to be happy all the time. It means that on bad days -no matter how much of your salary is slashed, how draggy business has become, or how empty your bank account is- you have a firm belief that better days are coming.

To stay positive, you will need to remind yourself of all the reasons you have to be grateful. When we are faced with difficulties, it is easy to forget the good things that have happened to us and dwell only on the bad ones, but remembering what’s good in your life will help you feel happier, lowering stress, depression, and anxiety. It also promotes optimism and helps you develop a more positive outlook. Reflect more on the things you have in your life right now including life, health, family and friends, as opposed to the things you are striving to get. You could start by keeping a gratitude journal and going back to it when you feel dispirited. The greatest source of happiness lies in our ability to be grateful at all times.

Secondly, you need to reevaluate your goals and see how best to take advantage of the situation. Every bad situation has something positive in it for us. If we could stop focusing on the problem, we will be able to ferret out how to make the best of it or discover what lessons the hard times are trying to teach us. When situations do not favour our goals, there’s a need to focus on other things we could achieve from that situation. Remember that hard times don’t create heroes rather it is during the hard times the hero within us is revealed. Ultimately, it is up to you to see the beauty in the ugliest situations.

Also, know that it is okay to take a step back and relax. Since we’ve entered the second half of the year, the pressure to be productive and meet up with our goals is up. But, we must not forget to practice self-care. Your calm mind is the ultimate weapon against your challenges. So know when to relax. When you are faced with circumstances that are beyond your control, it is advisable that you step back and watch situations fix itself. The year could be far gone with you achieving a little close to nothing, but you must remember that there is more to life than increasing its speed.

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Low self-esteem is often underplayed because it is mostly mistaken for humility and meekness or being introverted or antisocial, but having low self-esteem is damaging to a person’s psychological wellbeing and even more ruinous is the fact that people barely recognize they have it especially in a society like ours where people are constantly bullied into submissiveness. So when they exhibit traits of low self-esteem, it is easily misconstrued as being “modest”.

The reason you feel inadequate to take up tasks or doubt your ability to ascend a position at your workplace, find it hard to speak in meetings with assumed “intellectuals”, underprice your services, and mostly perceive compliments as sarcasm is because you most likely suffer from low self-esteem. There has probably been a time someone complimented your outfit, makeup, physique or work, but you assumed they are being ironical, or times when you are unsure about your skin, your appearance or the potency of your work and will only feel better after someone else has approved or validated it. These are lingering signs of self-doubt which stems from low self-esteem.

It results when your inner critics prevail. It involves imagining the worst that other people think of you and judging yourself based on that. Usually, people with low self-esteem tend to be hypersensitive. They have a fragile sense of self that can easily be wounded by others. They are hypervigilant to signs of rejection, inadequacy, and rebuff and will constantly see rejection and disapproval even when there is none.

Of all the consequences of low self-esteem, the most common is its propensity to lead to imposter syndrome -the persistent feeling that you do not belong to a position or class, and inability to believe that your success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of your efforts or skills. This is because a person who perpetually thinks they are inadequate and not good enough will barely feel they are deserving of any good thing that comes their way.

When this is the case, they are plunged by their imposter syndrome to remain stagnant in a place they feel they are suited for as opposed to accepting titles and higher positions they think they do not belong in. This creates limitation, impedes career growth, hampers leadership and management in an organization, restricts innovation, and risk-taking as well as affect the mental health of such individual.

Rosenberg and Owen had said that having low self-esteem is to live a life of misery. So, to escape that misery, there is a need for you to overcome low self-esteem. It starts with getting comfortable with everything about you including your insecurities. It is when you are comfortable with yourself that you will have less need to seek approval or validation from others to feel good enough or up to standard. What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others. Train yourself to be the superior man.

Secondly, you need to surround yourself with the right people. What we see and hear about ourselves significantly affects our self-esteem. And, sometimes, those things may have a permanent effect. Rather than surround yourself with perfectionist who pinpoints your imperfection, surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself. Be intentional about familiarizing yourself with self-confident people, because that trait will inevitably rub off on you.

Also, Acknowledge where you need change. Identify those things that make you feel less about yourself and seek ways to improve on them. We all have flaws; however, if you don’t recognize and acknowledge where you need change, it can keep you stuck in a rut of poor self-esteem, which will only get worse the more you try to run from it. As you begin to improve on yourself, make positive affirmations a habit. Words are change agents, and nothing is as powerful as words you speak over yourself.

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Low self-esteem banishes self-confidence, whereas self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings. If you must achieve greatness, you need to understand that building your self-esteem is vital because until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.

Identity crisis is mostly confined to adolescents as though it is only a problem for juveniles, but, it is in fact an all-round problem irrespective of age, race, or social status because identity is something that shifts and grows throughout life as people confront new challenges and tackle different experiences. There are teenagers who struggle to identify their values just as we have tricenarians who constantly question their purpose in life. It is not limited to age.

Identity crisis a psychological crisis in which a person experiences uncertainty about who they really are and their proper role in life. If you are questioning things such as your values, spirituality, beliefs, interests, or career path you may be experiencing identity crisis. That period it seems nothing exactly answers your whys and you begin to feel lost. Identity crisis, if not addressed as early as it comes fuels mid-life crisis. This is so because a person who is skeptical about who they are will barely be internally satisfied, hence a forging life crisis brought about by events that highlight their growing age, and possibly lack of accomplishments in life that may produce feelings of intense depression, remorse, and high levels of anxiety, or the desire to achieve youthfulness or make drastic changes to their current lifestyle or feel the wish to change past decisions and events.

Looking at it from another perspective, is a state in which a country, organization, etc. is subject to disorientation and uncertainty about their true role. So, whilst it is nearly possible that you may not have experienced a personal identity crisis, you may have experienced it as a business or part of a business where the company struggles to operate in accordance with its supposed values, or when the purpose or value of a product is questioned. Whenever you are at that point, you are faced with the rhetoric question, “who am I?”

Whether you have experienced a personal identity crisis or identity crisis in your business, you need to understand that as humans, there will be times when we will be at odds with who we are, our values, interest, faith, and spirituality especially in a world like ours where society is bias, unfavorable, and highly hypocritical and poses as a threat, detecting who we should be at the expense of who we really want to be. A typical example would be that of a homosexual trying to integrate with the Nigerian society. This individual will mostly suffer from identity crisis because society does not support their budding identity leaving them in a psychological catastrophe. They will consistently question who they are, why they are the way they are, and not meeting with society’s normalcy, their interest, values, and whatnot. When they are not able to answer these questions, they do not only lose touch with life’s essence, they become depressed.

Although identity crisis can be dispiriting, what matters is getting out of it. This requires the individual involved looking inwardly and connecting dots that help them answer the big question of who they are. To deal with identity crisis, you need to be open to self-exploration and self-reference as opposed to defining self primarily in terms of other’s expectations or reactions. The more you self-explore, the more aware of yourself you become, and self-awareness they say is a key to self-mastery.

Secondly, find support. Having good social support can help influence how well you cope with big changes or questions of identity. Get people who are both good listeners and non-judgmental, and talk to them about how you really feel. These could include friends, partners, family members, support groups, or even a therapist.

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Lastly, ignore internal and external judgment and support self-validity. It is true that other people’s expectations, as well as our own, can have a big effect on how we’re feeling, but don’t let society’s standards dictate who you are and what you should like. Living for people’s acceptance is just like being prepared to die from their rejection. The feeling of self-validation breeds self-confidence, and when that confidence creeps in, you are able to position yourself for a productive life.

Identity crisis, no matter how anyone tries to trivialize it is a big issue even than an economic crisis because people cannot function well in society if they do not know who they are and what they should pursue to improve their lives and impact that of others. Whenever you feel at odds with your identity, it is okay to pause and self-evaluate. Make time to connect your identity because being lost in the crowd is almost as worse as having no personal identity.