I read this interesting story that I’d like you to read too.
Before he died, a father said to his son; “Here is a watch your grandfather gave me… It is almost 200 years old. Before I give it to you, go to the jewellery store in the city. Tell them that I want to sell it, and see how much they offer you.”
The son went to the jewellery store, came back to his father, and said;
“They offered $100 because it is so old.”
The father said; “Well, try the pawnshop.”
The son went to the pawnshop, came back to his father, and said;
“The pawnshop offered only $20 because it has a scratch”
The father asked his son to go to the museum and show them the watch.
The son quietly questioned his father’s judgement, but still, willing to act on his last wishes he went to the museum, when he came back he said to his father;
“The curator offered $375,000 for this very rare piece to be included in their precious antique collection.”
The father responded;
“I wanted to show you that the right place will value you in the right way. Don’t find yourself in the wrong place and get angry because you are not valued. Never stay in a place where someone doesn’t see your value or you don’t feel appreciated.”
Your worth is an internal measure of how you value yourself. It is an internal state of being that comes from self-understanding, self-love, and self-acceptance.
It’s a state that is somewhat timeless and unchanging because it’s a direct measure of how you value and regard yourself despite what others may say or do. It’s, therefore, something that doesn’t quickly or easily change when external factors or circumstances change.
That said, it is established that self-worth should not be based on what others think of you or the things you have (or haven’t) accomplished—it comes from within. But it’s easy to forget that our worth isn’t determined by outside forces.
One of the reasons we are stuck at low/mediocre levels in our lives; dwelling in toxic relationships, or jobs or tolerating some unacceptable behaviours thrown at us is because we are not fully in awareness of our worth. We do not have confidence in our capacity to exist –finely- without these mediocrities we are used to. We’d think, “If I quit this job, will I get a better one? If I leave this relationship, will I find someone else? If I show displeasure about this attitude, what if they walk out of my life? And so, you stay right there accepting the same old pattern.
To have a high level of self-worth means having a favourable opinion or estimate of yourself. It means having unshakable faith in yourself and in your ability to follow through and get things done. Knowing you have the skills and technicalities to land a better job, but doubt that you would hence, stay where you have outgrown is a staunch sign of low self-worth. Knowing you have an amazing personality but choose to stay in a toxic relationship out of the fear of not finding someone else is an absolute waste of fear. You should be more scared of your excessive low self-worth.
One way to know your self-worth is to be dangerously self-aware. There is no logical way to put a price tag or worth on something you don’t know or understand its value, the same way you cannot understand your worth if you do not know the components that makes you the special being that you are. What are your strengths, your weakness? What makes your stand out? What are your skills and to what level have you mustered your self-confidence to portray your worth? The last question is imperative because far too many people are aware of their worth but do not carry the level of self-confidence that reinforces it.
Once you know what you bring to the table, it’s a powerful thing. Here’s what I realized;
- When you know your worth, asking for compensation for your time and work, regardless of the project, feels right.
- When you know your worth, you feel more comfortable negotiating a raise or promotion.
- When you know your worth, you have less of a problem saying no to things that you don’t want to do.
- When you know your worth, you can be yourself in all of the various relationships in your life.
- When you know your worth, you know that you can speak up in a meeting, because your opinion matters.
When I talk about knowing our worth, I’m referring to the simple truth that we all have worth… it’s just that some of us don’t know it.
Make it your responsibility to understand who you really are.
Abraham Lincoln once said “It is difficult to make a man miserable while he feels worthy of himself. Today, make it your responsibility to know your worth, then add tax.”