Once, a boy fell into bad company. He mixed with bad boys and wasted his time. It hurt his father. He tried his best to set him right but to no use.
One day, the father thought of a plan. He bought some fresh apples from the bazaar. He brought one rotten apple also. He said to his son, “Put these apples in the Jide.” The boy did so.
The next day, the father asked him to bring the apples. The boy was sad to see the apples. They were all rotten the father said, “One rotten apple has spoiled all the good ones. Bad friends are like bad apples. They will spoil you.” These words of his father worked magic as Jide soon understood the impact of a negative company.
Association in psychology refers to a mental connection between concepts, events, or mental states that usually stems from specific experiences.
The power of association is very powerful. It has to do with the type of people around you and how their beliefs, vision, goals, ideas, behaviours, and thoughts affect you as an individual. It affects your thinking, habits, the way you speak, and what you do. To achieve your goals and dreams, you need to surround yourself with successful friends and mentors.
There is a beautiful explanation by Swami Vivekananda on Association, “The raindrop from the sky: If it is caught in hands, it is pure enough for drinking. If it falls in a gutter, its value drops so much that it can’t be used even for washing the feet. If it falls on a lotus leaf, it shines like a pearl and finally, if it falls on an oyster, it becomes a pearl. The drop is the same, but its existence and worth depend on whom it is associated with.
Your friends that you hang out with, along with the other people that you spend time with have a tremendous impact on you and your life. The opportunities that are available to you, the choices that you make, even the amount of money in your bank account are all greatly affected by the people around you. It’s been said that you are the average of the 5 people that you spend the most time with.
Right from childhood, we are monitored by our parents/guardians and they would tell us the kind of friends to and not to keep. They tell us who and who not to be associated with because they know how powerful association can be; the saying that bad company corrupts good manners.
You become your conversations. You will think like your associations, and your life will look a lot like the lives of the people you spend most of your time with.
Who are you spending your time with?
Do you spend your time with the talkers or doers? The motivated or indifferent?
Who you become in the next 2 to 5 years is going to be directly related to the people that you associate with. If you associate with lazy people, average people, people that believe in mediocrity, more than likely that’s where you’re going to end up in the next 2 to 5 years.
According to Colin Powell, “The Power of Association is too real: The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve. Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your mediocrity
Pay careful attention to who your closest associations are because it’s an indication of the direction your life is heading.
• Associations can be the people you sit and fellowship with.
• Associations can be developed by the kind of books you read.
• Associations can develop by what you watch on TV, by who you follow on social media, the internet, the kind of movies and entertainment you expose yourself to. The places you go to.
The power of association can work on the negative side or the positive side. It can work for you or it can work against you. Don’t be deceived into thinking that associating with the wrong crowd or will not affect you because personalities, words, and traits do rub off naturally.
When double checking things that impede your success, consider double-checking the friendships you keep, the kind of information you digest, what you watch and what your circle is about. If you spend time with
You must consistently ask yourself these questions: Who am I around? What are they doing to me? What have they got me saying? What have they got me reading? Where do they have me going? What do they have me thinking? And most important, what do they have me becoming?
Then you ask yourself: is that okay?
Your life does not get better by chance. It gets better by change.
It’s important to find friends and mentors who are more successful than you are. Especially, those who have achieved what you want to achieve or living the life you hope to live.
Surrounding yourself with these people will elevate your level of thinking, habits, and overall lifestyle.
These people will support you when you need help and motivate you not to give up. Be intentional about who you spend your time with. There’s a quote that says “a rising tide lifts all boats”. In this case, if the people around you are successful and achieving great things, you will too.
To change your circle of friends, you need to know what you want. Getting clear on what you want keeps you moving towards it. And it stops you from making decisions you might later regret in every area of your life even in your friendships and relationships.
What are your goals? Which type of people do you need to be associated with to help make you achieve success? What do you need to spend the most time doing for you to achieve what you want? When you gain this clarity, you can figure the kind of relationships to keep or not to keep.
Secondly, work on yourself. Being the best version of yourself is important for your mental health. If you are always depressed or indifferent, the chances are you will attract people that might not be the best influence in your life. So start by changing your outlook on life and take small steps. If you want to be associated with the motivated and goal-getters, you need to stay, motivated and be a goal-getter yourself. When you start working on yourself, you will be more present in your life which will improve your new and existing friendships and make you a better person.
Also, stay connected. It’s not enough to simply know people who could elevate you to that next level. You have to make yourself visible, reach out, communicate and hang out with these awesome individuals. Whatever it takes except stalking them and bothering them, of course!
If you desire a successful life, you need to be picky and intentional about the kind of people you associate with because bad company corrupts everything. Even the biggest visions.
Happy new month!